"Please go out and adopt a rescue dog now! They can drive cars! They can be your personal drivers and drive you around town and you can buy them a hat and they can wear the hat and you can say, “Woof woof, where are we going today!” in a dog voice and then answer, “We’re going to the mall!” And then give the dog whatever treat means “mall” AND THEN THE DOG WILL DRIVE YOU TO THE MALL. Adorable. You can teach an old dog an amazing and totally dangerous new trick."